Toe To The Line
by YouGottaSingAlong
Summary: Drabbles. Janeway discovers the rules of a starship. Chap. 1: Replicator, 2: Borg and lungs, 3: At ease, 4: Witty comebacks 5: cont...
1. 1: Never Insult Your Replicator

_**A/N: I was bored, so I wrote this drabbley thing, may do a couple of others if the fancy takes me. Also my bleeding "t" key on my computer is buggered and "l" is almost as bad, so forgive any missing ts or ls.**_

Rule No. 1: Never Insult Your... Replicator

Captain Janeway, shrugging off her Starfleet jacket and removing her combadge, walked over o the replicator. "Hello, old friend." She greeted it, _Come on, I'm being nice to you, just do what I say, nice Reppy._ "Coffee: black."

She crossed her fingers tightly. "C'mon, you little..." the replicator produced a stream of coffee into her favourite steel mug. Cautiously, she removed he beverage from the slot, raising it to her lips. Less than a second later she spat it back into the mug. "Once. Once I insult you. And now..." she gestured aggressively at the mug in her hands. "You burn the meat, the veg is overripe, you _destroy _my coffee."

She walked deliberately to the other end of the room, before turning and running at the machine, "Coffeeblack." She said as she crashed into the button. A dark liquid sprayed up her front. "Give me strength." She massaged the replicator's 'shoulders', "C'mon, I like you, you like me. You will make me a simple cup of decent black coffee. You will." Suddenly food of all shapes, sizes, and consistencies vomited in a stream from the machine. "No, oh... Captain to Engineering, my replicator is going through its _pon farr_ again."

B'Elanna in engineering groaned, "Captain, I have my hands full at the moment. You did _ask_ me to realign the trans-warp manifolds and it's going to take a few hour..."

"This is an emergency."

"Okay, I'll send someone up. Torres out." The Captain looked as he final dribble of food left the machine and she was declared out of replicator rations. She sat down, a smile playing on her initially irritated face, covered in a substance that closely resembled puke and tapped her com again. "... Tom, that poker game you wanted... are we still on for it?"

_**Explanation for Emily, Hayley and Alice: Janeway drinks coffee. Her replicator has been known to be temperamental. Tom has a habit of trading and gambling replicator rations with other crewmembers. **_


	2. 2: Lungs Are Overrated

**Bit OOC, but fun. Plus, she did say she'd rather suffocate than be vaporised**

Rule No. 2: Lungs Are Overrated (if being chased by Borg)

"Personally, I'd rather suffocate than vaporise." _Breathing is assessed to highly,_ the thought flicked through Janeway's head as she travelled through the conduit at trans-warp. _Strange thought to have when a Borg Cube is on your heels... oh, Borg, chasing... trying to assim..._ "Remodulate shields." _Where was I? Breathing. Overrated breathing. Although, some would say thinking was overrated too_.... "B'Elanna, why are there still Borg on my tail?"


	3. 3: At Ease Before You Sprain Something

Rule No. 3: At Ease Before You Sprain Something

_Captain Janeway nodded at the young officer, "Ensign... At ease before you sprain something." Harry Kim thankfully released himself from the attention he had been standing at._

Twelve years earlier...

Lieutenant Kathryn Janeway, new on the USS Al-Bantani, straightened up to attention, "Captain on the brid- Ouch..." She crumbled to the ground, clinging her calf. "Ow, oh, ouch..."

Captain Owen Paris turned to the young science officer, "Are you alright, Janeway?"

She gasped from the ground, "Yes sir."

"You shouldn't lie to your Commanding Officer, lieutenant."

"I think I've pulled my calf muscle." The young lieutenant groaned. "Can I go to sickbay?"


	4. 4: Always Keep A Log of Witty Comebacks

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager, that's all Paramount and CBS (I think), neiher did I write for it, I think you lot that did were genii, and I apologise for taking cheap shots at your writing, but Mulgrew's facial expressions were to good not to sometimes.**

Rule No. 4: Always Keep A Log Of Witty Comebacks (Recycle, Reuse... Reduce?)

"Open Janeway- WC2, non-lavatory related." Janeway laid back in her lounger. "New entry Stardate 48315.6, Caretaker and Janeway.

"C: Oh, now, aren't you contentious for a minor bipedal species? J: This minor bipedal species doesn't take kindly to being abducted."

....

"Note: Never reject the classics. Arturis and Janeway.

"A: Ah! Here it is. It's a simple matter of extracting the iconometric elements, and triaxilating a recursion matrix. J: Now why didn't I think of that?"

....

"Job related comebacks draw smiles. Stardate 58279.4, Janeway and Devoe Inspector Kashyk.

"J: What do you want, Inspector? K: Call me Kashyk, please. I never liked that title. In fact, I've left it behind. J: Did somebody offer you a promotion or are you just having a bad day?"

....

"Sarcasm is useful when dealing with Universe destroying substances. Seven and Janeway.

"7o9: Your Starfleet directive is no longer relevant. I have found a way to control Omega. J: I don't care if you can make it sing and dance. We're getting rid of it."

She glanced down at her tricorder, "Mmm, that one's my best so far."


	5. 5: Keep the Captain’s Log to a Minimum

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager, that's all Paramount and CBS (I think), neither did I write for it, I think you lot that did were genii, and I apologise for taking cheap shots at your writing, but Mulgrew's facial expressions were to good not to sometimes.**

Rule No. 5: Try To Keep the Captain's Logs To A Minimum

"We're alone - in an uncharted part of the galaxy. We've already made some friends here... and some enemies. We have no idea of the dangers we're going to face. But one thing is clear: both crews are going to have to work together if we're to survive. That's why Commander Chakotay and I have agreed that this should be one crew - a Starfleet crew. And as the only Starfleet vessel assigned to the Delta Quadrant, we'll continue to follow our directive: to seek out new worlds and explore space. But our primary goal is clear. Even at maximum speed, it would take 75 years to reach the Federation,"

Janeway paused, seeming to only be taking a breathing break, in reality, she had stopped to take a small moment of consideration for her fellows back in the Alpha Quadrant, _Maybe they won't want three minute Logs to review if it takes seventy-five years, that's_, Janeway had always been good at mathematics, they were her best friend in her youth, but this one just about stumped her, _seventy-five years is twenty-seven thousand, three hundred and ninety-three point seven five days which is six hundred and fifty-seven thousand four hundred... and fifty hours so that's thirty-nine million four hundred and forty-seven thousand minutes multiplied by three is one hundred and eighteen million three hundred and forty-one thousand minutes worth of me talking. Well, Kathryn, that was a waste of your own time, screw the Federation log reviewers. _"Resume Captain's log.

_"_But I'm not willing to settle for that. There's another entity like the Caretaker out there somewhere who has the ability to get us there a lot faster. We'll be looking for her. And we'll be looking for wormholes, spatial rifts, or new technologies to help us. Somewhere along this journey - we'll find a way back."


	6. 6: Get A Watch Or Not

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager, that's all Paramount and CBS (I think), neither did I write for it, I think you lot that did were genii, and I apologise for taking cheap shots at your writing, but Mulgrew's facial expressions were to good not to sometimes.**

**A/N: I know, I know, my main point is from 'Year of Hell' and that didn't really happen as Janeway killed herself and reversed Time, but somehow I doubt neither did most of the thoughts that I've written in here. Give me the benefit of the doubt and pretend it didn't happen in YoH, okay?**

Rule No. 6: Get A Watch... Or Not

Chakotay walked in, grinning at the ruffled head of Kathryn Janeway, "Good morning. "

She looked up at him suspiciously, " What time is it?"

He laughed, "0500."

_I should get a watch_, Janeway noted as she replied, "Oh - well, then good morning."

....

Janeway looked up groggily at Seven, checking her brand spanking new watch, trusting that Tom's replicator was less hormonal than her own, Seven spoke, a little too loudly for this time in the morning, "I am having trouble with the nature of individuality."

Janeway, waking up a little more, laughed," There's a time and a place for philosophical discussion. Two in the morning in my quarters isn't one of them."

Later that week...

Janeway walked into the cargo bay, Seven turned, Janeway checked her already dented watch on entry, "I'm having trouble... with the nature of individuality."

"You require a philosophical discussion?" _Good, Seven, finally learning to play along._

" There's a time and a place for it. This is one of them."

....

Chakotay ran his hands across he pad, "Internal chronometers show it's 0600 on deck 9 and 0605 on deck 13. Time's passing more quickly in some parts of the ship and slowing down in others.

Janeway automatically checked her now completely useless watch, she knew there had been a reason she hadn't worn one before, then she, forgetting about the watch, turned to more pressing matters. "Maybe that explains why this coffee tastes like its three days old." She glanced at her old enemy: the Replicator. Or not.


	7. 7: Coffee store something stronger

**Disclaimer: I don't own Voyager, that's all Paramount and CBS (I think), neither did I write for it, I think you lot that did were genii, and I apologise for taking cheap shots at your writing, but Mulgrew's facial expressions were to good not to sometimes.**

Rule No. 7: Coffee... but keep a store of something stronger

The Ritual Guide raised his hands, "You've come back to seek the spirits."

"I don't know what I'm seeking." Janeway nodded her head to the side, contemplating what he had stated, _Although, I wouldn't__ say no to a glass of bourbon right now... It's not really the time for coffee._

"Then I believe you're ready to begin." _And you got that from a wish for hard liquors?_


End file.
